Day 29

No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

was that worth the pain?

why is it like this everytime i see her name. everything would come back drowning me alone with everything.

was i not prepared for this? i guess i DID try to prepare and lied that i was prepared. but in actual fact? i wasnt. i lied so that i could sleep at night. i lied so that i can continue to carry the smile on my face. but what if all these lies comes back at you. isnt it normal for couples to hold hands? why is my heart sinking again when clarence told me that. can i hate him for telling me that? no i guess not. it was my own fault for not stopping him. but what more can i ask, when i am also the one who wants to hear it more than him.

i am trapped in a quicksand. everyone is reaching out their hands for me. but my hands just stayed by my side. when can i have to courage to move my hand? when can i finally reach for their hands. but it seems i am sinking deeper as time goes on.

everyone was trying hard to cheer me up. i guess i was being difficult to them. sorry guys. but i guess u wont be able to see this. i will be better next time.