Day 25

You brace and hold it all inside
It's more than you can stand
No one around even tries
Tries to understand
And though you stand in place
Your mind escapes
Read between the lies
Smile's on your face
You fake like you're okay

Was told that she got eye contact with me too. but she quickly turned away, like i do. am i even suppose to be happy? happy that she did not see my down side? or sad that she turned away.

I saw smth i shouldnt have again. but why am i still running away. i need to accept things as they are.. i cannot stop what others think. i cannot stop what others say. and i cannot stop them from being tgt. i can only stop...myself from clinging on. but why am i still hanging on. wishing that one day they would break and she will come to me? i hope not. this better not happen.. cuz i will really blame myself for giving in that day.

come to think of it. what will the situation be now if i didnt give in that day? a though of him close to giving up came to my mind. did i lose that chance? or was i only thinking too much. none of these thoughts matters anymore. they are tgt now and i have to accept that. theres nth more i can do..but to let go...